So I'm going to try the Secret and see what happens.

Also, I'm tired of explaining things. So much time is wasted in these things. Ergo, grad school, "research" papers and the college institution of repetition is useless. Write something when you have something to say. Come back when you've got something new to tell me.

It's been a long long time

So this is my horoscope for today:

"Give everything your full effort and attention, or else it will only come back to bite you. What you need are thorough solutions to the problems that arise today. Putting bandages on something that requires open-heart surgery won't save you any time. Today, any dramas that pop up should be fairly insignificant, although annoying. Take this turmoil seriously. If you ignore it, it'll just keep coming back to drive you crazy."

Let's just meditate on that for a while.

There's plenty I could vent about but I'm not about to turn this into my livejournal circa 8th grade.

In fact right now things are pretty good despite some recent challenges and frustrations.

I graduate in 1 month and a few days. Although it's frightening as all hell - don't have a job lined up, don't even know where I'll be 2 mos from now - I'm optimistic. Which I suppose is saying something if you knew me about a year ago. Right now I'm content in living and doing things that matter to me. Surrounding myself with those I love and those who love me.

Sure this may be the cheesiest thing ever but I think the best thing I've got going for me is feeling. I think some people think I'm too intense... but it's who I am. There's a lot of good and bad in there. I'm not incredibly skilled in much else. But I like where I'm at now.

I want to revisit music. Also, really digging Shanghai Restoration Project and the whole Afterquake project. Check it.

So I can't really put into words why exactly I feel so connected to this Sichuan Relief Mission. Maybe it's my sensitivity and sappiness. Maybe it's something to do with my struggles to verbally communicate with the people we've met. Maybe in the end I know that all that matters is being there for somebody. I don't know, this does it no justice.

I believe it is possible to be ok and survive as a good person. I think you can be a good person in this industry. It may be a little hard in this city, but I think it's possible. Ask me again in 2 months and we'll see :)

Now what? Cyclical.

I need money so I need to get a job. I can't get a job since I have no "experience" so I have to resort to an internship. I can't get an internship because I need to receive academic credit. Which I don't have since I'm doing part time this semester.

This would mean paying for academic credits with the money I don't have from the inability to get another job due to the no experience because I can't get an internship because I don't have academic credits.

:/

"boop boop boop" - Julia Child w/ her sister (aka me and Kermin)

I like photoshop way too much.

Saw Julie&Julia yesterday w/ Annie, Janice, and a whole ton of old people. It was so adorable. I mean I figured I'd like it because it's cute but it's actually quite positive. You can't leave it w/o feeling warm, fuzzy, and even somewhat inspired. Now I'm feeling the need to have a short term goal like that, something day by day. Or at least try and make some beef bourgignon of my own.

Tons of moving crap around the A/P/A office today. Now I not only have a cabinet but a full room for the media equipment. I know this is their attempt at forcing me to be organized... we'll see how long this keeps up.

Back to Art Direction with Lauren's film. This is going to be quite intense, small town America + scifi creatures. This is my life.

Also, I really want to see Ponyo because it just looks so goddamn cute!

From now on, Miscellanium

Can I just say that I love Bill Clinton? Always have but due to the epic release mission to free journalists Laura Ling and Euna Lee, who could not be proud of this achievement? Not to mention Al Gore's involvement from the beginning (granted he couldn't really do otherwise given his ties/responsibility to Currentv but still, he's got it going on). It's incredible to imagine what they must have felt throughout the ordeal and while four months is way short of the 12 years prescribed, it's a devastatingly long time to be away from family, as is any amount of time in captivity. So major props to Bill and his crew! Now to see what happens next with N. Korea. Here's the story.

Is it wrong that I want to get involved with news media and documentary even more after this story?

Saw Brüno last night w/ Jackie. Well done, though Borat still dominates in satirizing and getting middle America good. Two notes though. 1) poor camera crew, must've taken a huge beating. Who says filmmaking isn't physical? and 2) the stage parents made me cringe more than the animated weinerschnitzel.

And this is why the art director needs to know the camera angle before we dress the set.

And new camera position...

Get the full deal here

And I haven't been to therapy since coming back from China and have been off medication since leaving for the semester. And for now, I can't believe I'm saying this, I am ok. I think that's really what I needed.

not very I suppose

Got a new internship w/ the documentary, No Woman No Cry

Spontaneous NYC adventures many involving SH friends and one w/ Marlborough kids taking a day trip down to hang out.

All moved in to the apt

Sure there's this sense of urgency in finding another job industry related but not enough for me to toss out my ethics and join the machine

Also it's torrential outside right now w/ huge thunderclaps and I can't help but think there's something rejuvenating and cleansing to come

don't need no stinking title

I love how I had every intention of keeping up with this. And by the time I actually drag myself here all "interesting" anecdotes are so far done that it's pointless to write about them now. Alas.

Apparently Twitter's 140 characters are more along the lines of my brain's attention span. Now THAT is just disgusting.

Also, NYC is underwater again. Actually rain's not that bad but there's something to be said about weather affecting your mood. oh and I saw 2 ppl littering on the train today, dropping stuff as if no one saw. I SEE YOU.

Mom helped me put up the wall in the apt. And change out the exploded light bulbs that had corroded into their sockets. Yes we are handy!

Speaking of new apt, moving in was an ordeal. We're actually over in Park Slope, 4 blocks from my Popo's house. In a way it's like going back home.

As per usual, I ended up driving/having to parallel park the monster of a UHaul. A plethora of traffic laws were violated but in the end the shit got moved and all was well. Even made it across the Manhattan Bridge a couple times (and managed to avoid accidentally ending up in Jersey). After Jorge and I moved all his stuff by ourselves (yeah), we were joined by Ellen and Josh and Kevbo eventually to finish the job. Even the doorman/security guy at the A/P/A building helped us move the couch into the van. So now we've got a place. And considering the size and location it's a pretty decent upgrade from last year. And a little over 1/3 of the cost. Now that's pretty brilliant I'd say.

Last week went home and relaxed with the family which was much needed. Now I'm back and ready to see what's going to happen.

Also, Michael J Fox's 'Adventures of an Incurable Optimist' has a lesson for everyone. Now I want to check out Bhutan. But really, it's true, outlook can make or break a person and seeing as it takes just as much effort to do either, why not think positively?

ok now let's see how long that lasts.

Let's try this again...

[crossposted on LJ: see?]

Ok, it's been a.. while since I've written. Granted blogs were banned in China during the last month, but still, my writing/reflections since have all but ceased. At least in the public realm. See censorship works?

So in the last what, 6 months I have:

- gone to South Africa which was incredible but for all too short a time.

- spent a semester in Shanghai

- learned how to somewhat communicate in Mandarin (I can buy things and say "you don't want my friend to puke in your car do you?") and can write (minimally) to my Grandma in Chinese now

- gone to Beijing and seen Chinese communism in its most dominant form

- got food poisoning at least 4 times the first of which was from either Starbucks or Yoshinoya and NOT the supposedly unhygienic street food.

- turned 21 in a country where 21 really just means the year before 22.

- gone to Lijiang and Dali in Yunnan Province and experienced the ancient hippie Chinese culture complete with Naxi ethnic minority bonfire dances and being invited to dinner by a sweet man whose courtyard we'd stumbled upon during a spontaneous photo adventure

- learned how to (sort of) play the gu zheng

- unknowingly tried cat (unrelated to the food poisioning)

- interned at a Shanghai production company, She&Jul, and learned some of the differences between the media industry here and there (qualitywise) and realized just how much easier it would probably be to get a job abroad vs here. After all, it's a newer, rising industry, still not quite caught up which would make it more possible for someone like me to jump in, but it is, like everything else in China moving up quickly. Granted I probably would not choose to work at that particular company again but Shanghai as a future option? I think so.

- volunteered writing a college newsletter for expat kids/study abroad students at Lifeline Shanghai, a "non-profit" (yeah not going to get into the complexity/bureaucracy/utter ridiculousness of trying to be a non-profit in China) with those two internships, got a taste of Chinese Shanghai business and Expat Shanghai business.

- experienced one of the truest representations of Chinese population density while climbing Huangshan Mountain... and took a sketchy ride in a mian bao che ("bread" van) w/ 5 friends in order to get back to the NYU group

- helped a friend get a refund from fake purse vendors who completely ripped her off (impossible in China)

- learned just how much everyone missed Western food when my friend threw a pasta party.

- helped organize a festival fundraiser with local and foreign students alike, complete with talent portion, food, games, prizes and a date auction. also met some great local Chinese kids (talent portion!) in the process.

- two words: roller revival

- tagged a wall after photographing a friend's art project: a stealth graffiti session in the wee hours

- Shanghai nightlife. KTV, clubs, bars, food, ex-pat, local, hip-hop, pop, Chinese music, anything and everything.

- gone back to primitive times spending the last 3 weeks + sans phone and watch.

- night biked around Shanghai, biked around Erhai Lake in Yunnan, biked to Trustmart. biked.

- Shot a doc on the (pretty much nonexistent) hip-hop scene in Shanghai. On the HVX 200, word HD. With a "crane" shot (ok, it was an escalator but who can tell?)

- Shanghai old, Shanghai new.

- went down to Beichuan county in Sichuan Province with the Sichuan Relief Mission and spent a week living in a village in one of the most devastated areas of last May's earthquake. This was by far the most intense experience of my life mentally, physically, emotionally. I still haven't had the concentration to write and fully reflect on this. I don't know why exactly I've been avoiding it but it's hard. But in terms of "stuff," other parts of the experience included:
- a 37 hour train ride down to Jiangyou and 37 hours back to Shanghai. I highly recommend this form of traveling to everyone - nothing compares to the ambiguous sense of time you get spending 2 nights on a moving train and seeing the landscape transform along the way.
- working with some of the most adorable and positive children I have ever seen.
- hearing too many unbelievable stories about loss of life and loved ones from the local villagers. Even with the language barrier, some things are truly universal.
- evading PLA (PLA!) guards and getting into one of China's most guarded areas - the actual city of Beichuan at the earthquake's epicenter, which is now in all senses of the word, a ghost town.
- and shooting a motherfucking DOCUMENTARY film in the process. How's that for a DP credit?
- As is with all volunteer missions the work is never done. There's still so much yet and hopefully this doc will help spread the word about what has/hasn't happened down there. A follow-up trip in December is in the works.

- and more.

So that was China. In the briefest way possible. This of course does no justice to the experience and no form of writing, photography or any other record will ever. But it's a start. And one thing's for sure, I need to go back.

and what's up next?

- moving into a new place in Greenpoint, said adios to the Ave A place a little while ago, I will miss that neighborhood but this new one if full of Thai restaurants, Polish delis and less pseudo artsy people.
- need to actually finish editing this movie I shot in Fall semester. More on that later.
- continuing to work at A/P/A
- looking for a job more in line with my industry
- the Sichuan doc enters post-production
- LIFE

All in all, I think I've got a brighter perspective on things. I learned a lot while away, tolerance, appreciation for family, endless lessons still. Again I say this now and moods change but for now it's good. Seriously what more could I ask for?

here we go

Ok, this is going to be the least coherent entry thus far since I am just that out of my mind right now.

Thought I'd lost my Student ID (which would be a problem since we're going to Sichuan and are pretty conspicuous and will probably be stopped so we need proof that we're students so they don't deport us or something). But I found it, in my jacket where it's been since Huangshan.

Huangshan of course was a whole other ordeal. Long story short, China has a lot of people, for some reason they all wanted to climb this mountain. Imagine the lines at Disney World on a Saturday in August, on narrow mountain paths between giant boulders instead of brightly colored railings. Anyway, everyone wanted to climb the mountain, 6 of us actually stuck it out through the lines and thus team Six Pack was formed. Of course we couldn't make it back down the mountain in time to catch the NYU bus so after various modes of transportation and discussion w/ a shuttle driver, ended up taking a sketchy van an hour + from the mountain to meet up w/ the group 3 hrs after they'd left. Huangshan? Conquered.

It's been fun exploring Shanghai. Lots more photos to go through and I'm realizing my time left is so limited, or at least the weekends. And school work is of course picking up too. We shot our doc last night for Journalism class. Highlights? Effing around w/ this HVX200 on the roof of the Lab (DJ space) w/ our director, James and ending up at the Bund w/ Rosie and Kate. I like shooting random crap. I miss experimental.

Buuut, reasons for the freakout? Leaving for Sichuan in t-minus four hours. I know it's going to be an amazing or at least memorable experience. But it's no secret I'm nervous as hell. I think it'll be an important learning experience though. Logistically I'm worried about the language, as always. I just don't want to slow the group down or get stopped because of my terrible language skills. I know I have the worst language experience of the group and don't want to create a problem for the team..

Aside from that, I'm just hoping that what we're doing is the right thing to be doing. I mean I know it is, the most important thing for dealing with any tragedy is an outlet to turn to, human compassion and interaction. Though we've been hearing we probably won't be that welcomed. There are so many complex levels to this, Chinese pride and saving face.

I don't even know where to begin or what I'm even saying about all of this. I just hope we can help them more than they will be benefiting us you know? And the fact that we're documenting this is a whole other story. I mean I think it's necessary, absolutely, I just wonder if we're going about it in the best possible way. As with every doc, there's the question of ethics and in this case I feel like it's the most ambiguous line to walk that I've encountered so far.

Of course more stories and more coherent explanation of what I'm trying to say when I get back/when I get my mind in order. At least I've got a 33 hour (yes a day and a half) train ride to figure some things out. I was talking to my parents the other day and my mom says, "With 33 hours you could fly back home."

So here we go, yet another life challenge and mission. More importantly more work that makes me realize the value people put into each other and the value of being here. Ok, deep breaths.

好久不见！Aka it's been an effing long time since I've seen you

It's true, yet again it's been a while. I could make up some excuse about being busy but the truth is, classwork is relatively minimal, aside from Chinese class, and since getting back from the break there hasn't been a whole ton of traveling.

I used to write all the time. Remember the days of livejournal? There'd be many obnoxiously long entries there. I guess since the idea of "senior year" has hit it's been low motivation. But enough of this mopey stuff, this is a travel blog right? So my mind's been all over the place but where have I been for the past month?

During Spring Break went to Dali and Lijiang in Yunnan Province. It's a much more relaxed lifestyle and the scenery is spectacular. I think it's just what I needed at that point, some nature, some farmland, with some ethnic minority Naxi culture thrown in.

This is Dali, taken while we biked through the rice paddies. yeah get jealous:


More pictures on the Picasa. This is definitely more along the lines of what you tend to picture when you hear "China." So we had some fun times exploring the Lijian Old Town which after a while began to take on this creepy Epcot-y vibe where all the shops start to look the same selling woven scarves, hippy shirts, leather cell-phone danglies, pipes (after all weed does grow wild on the rolling hillsides), and other handmade knickknacks. The crazy thing is that all the buildings are old styled but you know they are just built to look like that. China will never cease to amaze me with their use of the "fake-old." Shanghai's Xin Tian Di much?



Blagh, such a weird place, there's an album on that on Picasa too.

We also got to dance around a bonfire Naxi style when we stayed at the Sky and Sea Lodge,

Note on Eugene's expression and sweet Dongba pictograph T (we had arts/crafts time earlier). Our host, the woman in Naxi clothes, was so into it, swinging her hips and just plain rocking out to the Alalale music.

And learned how to make Lijiang baba (this fried dough dessert type thing),


and of course visit tons of temples. See all the Tibetan prayer flags? It was actually pretty therapeutic for me to bai sun again.

Climbing up the mountain to Puji Temple was a challenge for me but I'm gonna blame it on the thin air (yes we're THAT high up in Yunnan) and not on my rapidly deteriorating physical health.

One of the best parts of the trip was while staying at the lodge, Alex and I decided on going on a photo adventure and exploring the area behind the hostel. We ended up checking out the beautiful Er Hai lake and some of the courtyard style houses surrounding it. Since it's an agricultural area, everyone had farm tools and chickens and cows or other animals.

After taking a few shots of the exterior courtyard wall of this house, the door opened and the guy inside invited us in. After a few moments of hesitation we took him up on his offer and found the quaintest, most comfortable courtyard complete with orange tree and cow. His adorable little daughter was hanging out there too.

Inside the courtyard.

We did the best we could to communicate, damn us and our Elementary 1 Chinese level. So the conversation was limited to us saying that we were students, studyhing in Shanghai from America, etc. What was so surprisingly accommodating was that when we didn't understand what he was saying, the man assumed it was his err and went inside to fetch a fresh notebook and wrote out what he was saying - that we couldn't understand his dialect and weren't just incompetent ABCs. And on top of that, he invited us to dinner with his family, though we had to decline since we had a group dinner later that night. But, this was a kindness that reminded me that in fact, not everyone in China is desperately trying to get somewhere at all costs in a creepy Darwinistic fashion. Maybe Southern Hospitality isn't just an American South thing. It's moments like this that make the experience, unplanned and thoroughly rewarding.



To Huangshan in the morning. More later!!

我不知道

It's been a while.

The other day walking down Dingxi Lu I saw a proud young couple taking pictures of their child posing, in GI Joe mode, with a flashing, popping, plastic, toy rifle. He was probably two or three.

I didn't realize how bad the air quality was until I went for a run today. It was warm outside and I thought to myself, "hey there's some blue up there, what a perfect day to test out this track that's sitting here two feet from my dorm." Nothing quite drives home the message that the air may be less than ideal than when after only a few laps you're wheezing like an emphysemic. I seriously felt like an 80 year old man and the lyrics of that awesome Massachusetts PSA about strokes began to play in my head. Or... maybe this is all because I haven't really done much exercise for the last two months aside from walking to/from class and the occasional city excursion. Yeah. But can you explain all the sneezing??

I bought Seasons 1-3 of "How I Met Your Mother" at one of the DVD places at Back Gate for 20 RMB (about 3USD). But all the episodes have Chinese subtitles. At least I can learn more 汉字 that way. Ish.

On a side note, got a lovely tailor made dress which actually fits me (kind of a rare occurrence for a stubby, busty, Asian chick). Of course as soon as I got it the temperature's dropped and I haven't had a chance to show it off yet but all in due time! Plus there is a great Hong Kong Cantonese restaurant a block away from the Fabric Market. Shara, Jackie and I have gone there twice.

Ok, more later, for now, Steph out!
再见

Beijing-aling

Aaaand of course last weekend we went to Beijing. Two days was no where near a reasonable amount of time to see anything but I'm looking at it as more of a sample for when I actually travel there sometime. Whenever that may be. We of course hit the major landmarks, Chang Cheng (the Great Wall), Tiananmen Square (our hotel was about 2 blocks away), the Forbidden City, the Winter Palace/Beihai Park, a hutong alleyway neighborhood, a billion temples, and of course the Olympic Stadium!! Our little group, aptly named "Team Lonely Planet" thanks to Eugene's guidebook, tried to cram in everything, which of course made me feel my age even more (I am so physically unfit, it's hilarious) but well worth it.

Some words on Beijing itself: You can definitely tell it's the capitol city. There are guards in long green coats and giant furry hats pigeon stepping everywhere. There are also security checks at every subway station. There are busloads of Chinese tour groups from all over the country swarming all over every landmark. Each with matching baseball caps (usually red) and led by a flag waving guide with a clip on mic. Beijing is very clean and downright immaculate compared to Shanghai. Probably because it doesn't rain. And they cracked down during the Olympics and the People's Congress meeting last weekend. But still it was really nice to actually see blue sky and birds.

Also the Beijing dialect is so much harder to understand. Full of "r"s. I don't think my nasal passage and mouth can even produce these sounds.

Oh and now I've officially lost my squatter virginity. While I'm not by any means an expert at peeing in a porcelain hole in the ground, I am well equipped with the ability to use the preferred style public toilet over here. Especially since the ONLY places in Beijing I found w/ a Western style toilet were our hotel and maybe 2 out of 40 portapotties at the Olympic Stadium. (On a side note, the Chinese don't really seem to be into diapers much either. All the little kids are running around with split pants for easy, uh, access. We even saw a little girl taking a dump on the steps of the Forbidden City Imperial Palace. Her parents frantically cleaned it up of course, but yeah, only here can you crap on the historic home of past emperors and yet get executed for smoking pot. Shweet.)

And the landmarks? Amazing!

Great Wall: The saying goes, 不到长成非好汉, "bu dao chang cheng fei hao han" or something like, "you're not a hero until you climb the Great Wall." So now we are heroes. Giant wall, tons of steps, epic view of the mountains bordering Inner Mongolia.

Tiananmen Square: 6:30am flag ceremony every day with guards and national anthem. Flat, enormous, and full of Chinese tourists. The Tiananmen gate sits at the north side with a huge full color photo of Mao Zedong. This guy is everywhere.

Lama Temple: Tibeten Buddhist temple. Not quite the type of Buddhism my family practices but it was still a nice spiritual experience. Though the idea of paying an entrance fee (even though reduced w/ the student ID) is kind of an odd concept for visiting a place of worship in my opinion.

Hou Hai: Night life area. Basically a bunch of tiny, flashy, Chinese pop song/Reggae/?? filled bars along the side of a lake. There are guys standing outside of every venue that harass you to come into their club. And each place blasts its music w/ outdoor speakers, usually a couple of skinny Chinese 20-somethings doing karaoke on stage. We ended up at a place with dim purple lighting and soft couches. A skinny guy with gelled hair and a chick who resembled those online "cartoon dollz" that were so popular back in the day sang a bunch of pop songs. And then it switched over to recordings including some Shania Twain and pretty much Shakira's entire 2nd album.

Forbidden City: Scary and PACKED. It's just pretty remarkable trying to imagine this whole imperial community living within these walls. Everything is imposing and extravagant. I wonder what it'd be like without the hordes of tourists.

Hutong: Another type of walled living area. Similar to the lilong houses I talked about before though more closed off and possibly a bit poorer. I felt a bit strange walking through and taking pictures though, there's always that ethical dilemma. I mean I'm not sure I'd be so keen on strangers traipsing through my backyard taking pictures of me and my laundry. But who knows? The one woman we met was very friendly, though she asked us why we wanted to see "such an awful place." How do you respond to something like that?

Olympic Stadium: Holy crap. I love the olympics, I don't know why, I just always have. I think it's something about the cooperation of it all, so many people from all parts of the world convening in one spot. I'd love to be in a city when one happens, you know London 2012 or something. Not even necessarily to see the games (though I wouldn't turn that down having the chance), but to experience the madness and this sense of equality/level playing field that comes with any major international event. We also got to see the WaterCube and Bird's Nest at night all lit up. Again, enormous, imposing, made to intimidate. And the walkway was this huge flat expanse which makes you feel even tinier. Unreal.

So in all, Beijing was pretty outstanding. Part Disney, part DC and all Chinese. I'll check it again one day.

Psht who needs organized thoughts?

First of all, I'm definitely past the honeymoon phase, as I'm sure you can tell by the last post. Buut things are getting better and I'm starting to learn how to function like a real person. Today I even went to the post office and sent a letter! Maybe it'll get there, maybe it won't. It took 3 full weeks for a package my parents sent to get here but heyy at least it made it! Apparently if you send it FedEx or something like that it takes even LONGER b/c it sits in customs for a while. One day they'll come up with some magical electronic mail device. Oh wait...

In other news, I am officially old. Though turning 21 in a country where the legal drinking age is 18 is slightly anticlimactic, but hey, I'm actually steering clear of the alcohol (or at least minimizing my intake) for a while. Not gonna lie, Chinese alcohol sucks. But still, the looming prospect of those big terrors (caps of course): the FUTURE, my CAREER, and the REAL WORLD is starting to become less of a distant myth and more of a frightening actuality. But hey, I guess that's back in the states, 12,000 km away (yeah I looked it up) so let's not worry just yet.

The birthday celebration was nice and lowkey, as much of a party as you can have on a Tuesday night. It was also Rosie's bday too so about 8 of us from the dorm went to this Sichuan style hotpot place. It was really nice to just sit around in a big group again and eat and talk. Back at the dorm, Steph and Kate gave us each a piece of cake and chocolate ice cream - so sweet of them. I've actually really been craving Pinkberry etc since being here. And dairy in general. The milk here is not my favorite.

Happy March

Feeling a bit homesick on account of two different reasons.

One - I came down with a violent case of food poisoning Friday and there's nothing more uncomfortable than being sick in a foreign place with strange foods. I mean I was ill, body rejecting every substance I put into it using every evacuation method possible ill. Definitely could rival the time in South Africa that started at that really nice restaurant. That's another thing, all I'd eaten that day was Starbucks and Yoshinoya two CHAINS from OVERSEAS! Weeks of streetfood? Touched by bare hands and soiled terricloths? Totally fine. Have a tall vanilla latte and bam, viral attacks galore. I was completely out of commission for the entire weekend and am still on the mend. In fact, pair this with the time in SA, I've puked more in the past two months than in the last 5 or 6 years. I love to travel but sometimes travel just does not love me. But given China's notable standards for food hygiene, it's bound to happen at some point. Let's just hope this is it for this trip. People've been pretty nice here though, my RA Henry brought me soup and Rosie gave me some herbal tea stuff that my Grandma always gives me when I'm sick. But I wanted nothing more than to be able to crawl into my own bed at home, one where I can't feel the individual steel springs pressing against my scapulae and junkless trunk, and have my mommy take care of me. Ah well. Recovering xian zai.

Two - There is a blizzard happening at home. Actually in both homes. In NYC and in Boston. I never thought this'd be the thing to trigger my yearning for home but after weeks of trudging to class through beige/grey puddles in cold rain, I'd welcome some of the white stuff.

This is not to say that I hate being here. Not at all, I actually really like Shanghai. Just going through moments of the expected. A bit overwhelmed with the industrial grunge coating all surfaces and the supposedly "clean" renovated spaces (which I'm convinced are about as sanitary as the showers visited by "Bathfitters"). Ok, I'm sure they're not that bad but when, on a good day, the air holds an "inhalable particulate matter" count higher than that of LA on a bad one, you kind of question.

Sorry, today's just an off day, as have been the last couple. I'm sure once I'm physically better my mental outlook will improve as well. Plus we're going to Beijing this weekend so that should be exciting! I promise, some stories of idyllic adventure and wide-eyed wonderment to follow. Until then, cynicism makes its ugly appearance as I fumble in recovery mode.

Photo Dump #1

So, been loving this new D-80. Lots of experimentation. Here're a select few from Orientation Week. Check out my Picasa Page for more!

From Shanghai Orientation Week

At a temple at Yu Garden

From Shanghai Orientation Week

Everybody loves Obama!

From Shanghai Orientation Week

From Shanghai Orientation Week

Chinglish is lovely times magical friendship!

From Shanghai Orientation Week

At the lower viewing deck of the Shanghai World Financial Center

From Shanghai Orientation Week

Shanghai at Night.

From Shanghai Orientation Week

Cutest little kid ever!

From Shanghai Orientation Week

at Tongli

Back to preschool...

Well first of all, it really kind of sucks to be a non-Mandarin speaking Chinese person here. Of course there are hundreds and thousands of foreigners here but I guess since I "look like everyone else" (though not even really - wardrobe, body movement, etc scream outsider), there's a higher expectation. And when that expectation is not met, i.e. when a store owner starts a conversation with me and I can only smile and nod back, I'm greeted with a look that in every culture translates to "wow, you're kind of an idiot." A white person says "ni hao" and they're greeted with cheers, I stumble over a basic sentence and the response is a raising of the eyebrows - "what is this odd creature, did her parents not teach her right?"

Don't get me wrong, the majority of people I meet are actually very understanding of my near nonexistent conversational skills. They usually get the gist of what I'm gesturing at and are pretty helpful in using simple words to respond. Plus all the Chinese students I've met have been extremely open and eager to speak to us "wai guo ren." And I've actually been getting better at buying things. But it's a slow process. Hurray for elementary 1!

The small victory today? I was buying a notebook and the lady asked me if my nose ring hurt. And not only did I understand, I was able to respond! "Zhe ge bu teng!"

Baby steps, friends, baby steps.

Shanghai Times

So I've officially made it to the the Middle Kingdom, 中国, the "motherland" and most importantly, the rising superpower in this quickly shrinking world. It's only been a few days but I'm definitely enjoying the place, the people, the food and the program. Of course it's still early but I can see this being just the experience I needed right now.

First of all my language skills are pretty much nonexistent aside from basics not even worth noting. But as my mom pointed out, now I know how millions of immigrants feel every day. But then again, I'm living in a relatively comfortable situation, I mean if I need to find something or get confused with the language or whatever I have access to people who can help me out. Tons of immigrants don't have that. All I can say is I have so much respect for people coming new to a place with no understanding of the language, no contacts, and only the ambitions and dreams for opportunity. My grandmother came to Shanghai, only 15 years old, during the war and managed to survive. She worked in a small restaurant doing bookkeeping and other small jobs and managed to support herself for 7 years. Hell I was still being driven to the mall by my parents at 15. And as if one culture leap wasn't enough, my grandma married my grandpa and went to America with two children, one barely of school age, again not knowing the language and yet managed to create a home. That's guts. But this is her story and I'm not even going to try and pretend like anything I've ever done even comes close to her experiences. So about Shanghai...

Some myths and truths!

Myth: The place is not hygienic and people spit, pee and shit all over the street.
Fact: While spitting happens, it's not as endemic as people make it out to be. And I only saw one little boy about 4ish pee on a corner in one of the more outlying neighborhoods. Have yet to see sidewalk defecation, though I'm not complaining.

Myth: The air is apocalyptic.
Fact: Pretty damn close. Entering the city on the bus ride from the airport, we all looked out into the haze blanketing the city and wondered when the fog would lift up. And then realized that the sun had been blazing for a while and this actually would not burn off. At times it's so bad you can look directly at the sun without fear of retinal damage due to the thick shield of pollution. Breathing's been pretty ok though.

Myth: China is ancient, backward and unsafe.
Fact: Haven't been around China so I know this is true in some parts but Shanghai is so unbelievably modern! Take one look at a Shanghai subway station or mall or office building and you'll feel like you've been transported 10 years into the future. Architecturally Shanghai is in constant progression towards bigger, brighter, better. The subway platforms have sliding glass doors between the train and the platform so track diving doesn't seem like it'd be much of a problem there. Weirdly though the stations are pretty immaculate (at least by my NYC standards) littering in cars doesn't seem to be a concern. We were heading out on the 4 line and this woman sitting by us proceeded to peel an orange and dropped the rind on the floor. And left it there. Hmm. The Cloud Nine mall? The most incredible most indulgent most overwhelming display of capitalism I've ever seen. 9+ floors of high end shopping, bargain stores, restaurants, electronics x 100000, a hotel, a gym, you name it they've got it. No wonder this program is full (70%) of Sternies.

And while Shanghai isn't 100% I'm-gonna-leave-my-bag-at-the-table safe (what city is?), it's at least as-long-as-I'm-not-a-careless-idiot-I'm-ok comfortable. The traffic however is another story. There are no rules. Crossing a street unscathed for a foreigner in Shanghai is a medal worthy accomplishment. If you can imagine that scene in the Lion King with the stampede but replace the wildebeest with buses, trucks, cars, mopeds, bicycles and other pedestrians and Simba with an American student then you can kind of get an idea of what a typical street in Shanghai is like.

Again, it's only been two days but some highlights so far:
- Having dim sum with the whole group including some Chinese students from Jiao Tong University and staff members.
- exploring the back gate area.
- fireworks every night celebrating the New Year/Spring Festival.
- going to Cloud Nine and all buying the same cell phone in the chaos.
- getting Sichuan style hotpot soup for about 5RMB (6.8RMB=1USD, you do the math)
- karaoke and cheap beer with tons of Britney and Chinese songs
- one of the coolest activities today: visiting a neighborhood in Old Shanghai. It was a little bit like a township walk, at least from the exterior. We went through a "free market" where people set up their stalls all along the narrow road beneath a canopy of clean laundry hanging between all of the houses. They sold everything from steamed buns to fresh vegetables to crab. We saw live everything soon to be food: fish, squid, eel, frog, turtle, chicken, etc. All of the houses were pretty small, stacked a few floors up and were home to full families. I feel like this is the type of place my grandma would've stayed in while she was here.

We followed one of our hosts to his home and climbed a bunch of steep, red, rickety wooden steps up a narrow hallway to the living room which was actually really nice despite the decrepit exterior. The room was well furnished with a really nice quality mahjong table, flush toilet, and hardwood floors. We actually ended up heading to a smoke filled mahjong den and learned to play with these two older men who didn't speak a word of English. But now I know some mahjong terms (which are actually pretty similar to the Canto ones I learned way back when, when my grandma taught me - I'm still getting the Canto/Mandarin numbers confused though). Plus their mahjong tables were intense and automated. We all took videos of that because it was so ridiculously awesome.

Afterwards, our group headed back to the house where we made dumplings with the grandma. Some of our dumpling skills were better (Drew) than others (mine). But it was a whole lot of fun. And we worked on whatever Chinese we knew, definitely helped that our guide only spoke Chinese, one of our group was Lillian from Jiao Tong and a few had a number of semesters of Mandarin under their belts. But the grandma was adorable helping everyone fold their dumplings, congratulating us on the successes and pointing out the flaws. The dumplings and all of the other food was delicious - extremely fresh, flavorful and healthy. I'm beginning to think that this whole preservatives/artificial flavoring thing is strictly for American food (the food in South Africa was so fresh and seasoned too). Who knows? After eating, we thanked our hosts and headed back through the tiny, cramped neighborhood to take the bus then train back to the dorms/apts.

Definitely a memorable experience. Need some time to meditate before fully writing about it. So much more to do today, this week and for the next 4 months.

Reflections later. This is going to be a TRIP!

Zai jian!

New Adventures

And since I'll be heading to a new city, country, hell even hemisphere, I figure I'd take this opportunity to share my travels you. I'm off to 上海 (Shanghai)! So, in response to some friends' suggestions this will now be a travelblog documenting my Shanghai Shenanigans - well at least until I return to NYC in June (or whenever).

Admittedly I'm nervous - for a number of reasons. In Shanghai, I won't know the language, I'm taking a semester of classes outside of Tisch and my comfort zone, and I don't know anyone else in the program. But... I prefer to look at this more as that oft referred to blank slate, a wide open field of opportunity with no commitments and none of the typical restrictions and drama I'd have if I were traveling with acquaintances. Hopefully this way I can be as open to experience and as judgmental as fully tasting life requires. Plus I'm armed with this excellent Pinyin-->Chinese (though simplified, lame) typing website (http://www.csulb.edu/~txie/online.htm) From I Emily Chu!

The Phrase for the Day is:
(come on you all know this one)

你好! (Ni hao!) - Hello!

But here we go. Ties severed, blast valve open, this balloon is ready to fly.