#1

If you had to lose a sense which would it be?
Without sight I could smell all of the rotten colors.
Why would you want to do that?
So I could know where I'm going three weeks ago.

Why?
Don't ask why, it's when.

Resurrection Attempt #23

Here we go again!

So quickie update from the past oh, 4 months?

- Finished up college. As in officially done with school. As in my diploma just came in the mail. After 17 years of homework and papers and lectures and class it all comes to a dead stop. The weirdest thing is going back to the NYU campus so frequently even though I'm now 'done'.

- Went back to Sichuan for part 2. That was an experience in itself. So much has changed. New buildings. Stores of all kinds: furniture, electronics, food, fashion. Everything is under construction. At the beginning of the week there was a dirt road leading to our hostel, by the end of the week it had been paved. (Big Dig, take notes). And yet there's still so much to be done, ppl are still living in the 'ban fang' (sheet metal houses) and are struggling to pay off loans for new houses or for their kids' tuition. It goes on. More on that later. But yes the documentary is coming along. Hit some roadbumps and some major negativity on the part of our director but what can you do but plug on? We have a responsibility to our friends there.

- Officially in the field of 'freelance' which certainly has its ups and downs. Currently doing some "animation" (After Effects stuff) for this documentary on Norman Mailer. Pretty decent situation, definitely have some creative freedom for now.

- Went to South Carolina for an A/P/A oral history with Dr. Jack Shaheen which was really great. The Shaheens were so warm and welcomed us into their home wholeheartedly. Hilton Head is a very bizarre place in my opinion though.

- Went to Orlando w/ my family last week. More on that late. But good good times! :)

So I'm going to try the Secret and see what happens.

Also, I'm tired of explaining things. So much time is wasted in these things. Ergo, grad school, "research" papers and the college institution of repetition is useless. Write something when you have something to say. Come back when you've got something new to tell me.

It's been a long long time

So this is my horoscope for today:

"Give everything your full effort and attention, or else it will only come back to bite you. What you need are thorough solutions to the problems that arise today. Putting bandages on something that requires open-heart surgery won't save you any time. Today, any dramas that pop up should be fairly insignificant, although annoying. Take this turmoil seriously. If you ignore it, it'll just keep coming back to drive you crazy."

Let's just meditate on that for a while.

There's plenty I could vent about but I'm not about to turn this into my livejournal circa 8th grade.

In fact right now things are pretty good despite some recent challenges and frustrations.

I graduate in 1 month and a few days. Although it's frightening as all hell - don't have a job lined up, don't even know where I'll be 2 mos from now - I'm optimistic. Which I suppose is saying something if you knew me about a year ago. Right now I'm content in living and doing things that matter to me. Surrounding myself with those I love and those who love me.

Sure this may be the cheesiest thing ever but I think the best thing I've got going for me is feeling. I think some people think I'm too intense... but it's who I am. There's a lot of good and bad in there. I'm not incredibly skilled in much else. But I like where I'm at now.

I want to revisit music. Also, really digging Shanghai Restoration Project and the whole Afterquake project. Check it.

So I can't really put into words why exactly I feel so connected to this Sichuan Relief Mission. Maybe it's my sensitivity and sappiness. Maybe it's something to do with my struggles to verbally communicate with the people we've met. Maybe in the end I know that all that matters is being there for somebody. I don't know, this does it no justice.

I believe it is possible to be ok and survive as a good person. I think you can be a good person in this industry. It may be a little hard in this city, but I think it's possible. Ask me again in 2 months and we'll see :)

Now what? Cyclical.

I need money so I need to get a job. I can't get a job since I have no "experience" so I have to resort to an internship. I can't get an internship because I need to receive academic credit. Which I don't have since I'm doing part time this semester.

This would mean paying for academic credits with the money I don't have from the inability to get another job due to the no experience because I can't get an internship because I don't have academic credits.

:/

"boop boop boop" - Julia Child w/ her sister (aka me and Kermin)

I like photoshop way too much.

Saw Julie&Julia yesterday w/ Annie, Janice, and a whole ton of old people. It was so adorable. I mean I figured I'd like it because it's cute but it's actually quite positive. You can't leave it w/o feeling warm, fuzzy, and even somewhat inspired. Now I'm feeling the need to have a short term goal like that, something day by day. Or at least try and make some beef bourgignon of my own.

Tons of moving crap around the A/P/A office today. Now I not only have a cabinet but a full room for the media equipment. I know this is their attempt at forcing me to be organized... we'll see how long this keeps up.

Back to Art Direction with Lauren's film. This is going to be quite intense, small town America + scifi creatures. This is my life.

Also, I really want to see Ponyo because it just looks so goddamn cute!

From now on, Miscellanium

Can I just say that I love Bill Clinton? Always have but due to the epic release mission to free journalists Laura Ling and Euna Lee, who could not be proud of this achievement? Not to mention Al Gore's involvement from the beginning (granted he couldn't really do otherwise given his ties/responsibility to Currentv but still, he's got it going on). It's incredible to imagine what they must have felt throughout the ordeal and while four months is way short of the 12 years prescribed, it's a devastatingly long time to be away from family, as is any amount of time in captivity. So major props to Bill and his crew! Now to see what happens next with N. Korea. Here's the story.

Is it wrong that I want to get involved with news media and documentary even more after this story?

Saw Brüno last night w/ Jackie. Well done, though Borat still dominates in satirizing and getting middle America good. Two notes though. 1) poor camera crew, must've taken a huge beating. Who says filmmaking isn't physical? and 2) the stage parents made me cringe more than the animated weinerschnitzel.

And this is why the art director needs to know the camera angle before we dress the set.

And new camera position...

Get the full deal here

And I haven't been to therapy since coming back from China and have been off medication since leaving for the semester. And for now, I can't believe I'm saying this, I am ok. I think that's really what I needed.